My disclaimer is this… I only have one child and have only been pregnant once. I do NOT know it all or have a wealth of knowledge. That being said, there’s a lot I learned in the last two years since having my baby girl… Here are a couple of those things. Take it or leave it.
Do not believe everything you read or hear.
… Including from me!! Just because “it” – whatever “it” may be- happened to someone else doesn’t mean it will happen to you! Every pregnancy, birth, and baby is SO different, because WE are all so different. God is in the business of growing us & wants us to draw closer to Him and those experiences are unique for each person.
… Stay off the internet. For goodness sakes- please! I wasted countless hours reading articles on how to get my baby on a sleep/feeding schedule. Livi failed miserably at Baby Wise. I’ve babysat since I was 11, but I am not Baby Wise! Olivia was not having a schedule for what seemed like a very long time and definitely wasn’t sleeping through the night and if I would’ve just accepted that and not compared her to every baby I read about on the internet I would’ve been so much happier! There, of course, are some basics tips to know and some things are helpful but don’t obsess over it. Try what you want and if it doesn’t work, move on.
… Reread the first paragraph… Just because my baby didn’t do well doesn’t mean you will have the same experience. Find a rhythm that works for you and your baby. Figure out your groove and what you can handle.
Babies are SUPPOSED to change you and your life.
The best thing I ever heard after having Livi is something I wished I would’ve heard much earlier. “God gives us children to change us. It’s not about them adapting to fit into our life, but about us putting our selfishness aside and changing. Children are supposed to change your life.”
This put my need to control into perspective. It’s not supposed to be easy… a baby changes everything… because it’s supposed to. That’s God’s plan.
Get mom friends.
When your husband goes back to work and the guests leave and you’re on your own it can get lonely. You NEED community. You NEED other moms to talk to. Will they always say the right thing? No. But, you need them and they need you. There’s a reason they say “it takes a village to raise a child”. You need someone to relate to and talk to when you haven’t showered all day, you feel a mess, but someone else texts you to say something like, “So I was rushing to put on makeup before my baby woke up and instead of putting on powder I put on blush. #momlife ” Or “Just ran errands and realized I had spit up all down my shirt. I thought they were checking out my awesome boobs.” or “I haven’t washed my hair in 4 days. What day are you on?” … There’s an instant smile for you and instant way to make you feel like you’re not alone.
Savor the sweet, little moments.
It goes by really fast. It might not seem like it, but it does. Keep your phone handy and buy extra storage to catch those sweet moments. You’re going to want to see them when they’re older.
Bedtime routine has always been extra special for us. That routine is the best snuggle time we get all day. Books, songs, and snuggles – you can’t beat it!
Don’t make yourself miserable trying to lose weight.
It will happen and you will get there but take time to enjoy your baby not obsess over getting your pre-baby body back. It will-sort of- happen with time and dedication but don’t make yourself miserable.
I’m in the best shape I’ve ever been in right now- post baby- but my body is definitely not the best it’s ever looked. It is what it is. Stressing over it just makes you and those around you miserable. Be wise, but enjoy a burger and a brownie every now and then.
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all he has done.” Phil. 4:6
Pregnancy, birth, and baby will drive you to pray! And it should!! Again, this is supposed to bring you closer to God and closer to your husband. Pray and GIVE THANKS. What a miracle life is and we have so much to be thankful for.
There is a difference between fear and intuition.
When I really think about it, the moments that God spoke to me for protection for Olivia or gave me revelation about something concerning her or my marriage- was always in a “still small voice”. Fear, on the other hand, is very loud and obnoxious like a clanging cymbal. Fear stirs me up into frenzy and gives me anxiety not peace. That mother’s intuition that God gives us is His Holy Spirit. When you listen to that still small voice it will properly, peacefully lead you, whereas the fruit of fear is frenzy, anxiety, and restlessness. Fear does not properly lead you.
Get Out!
Take advantage of helping hands. People WANT to hold and snuggle that sweet baby! Take advantage of that! Go take a nap!! Go take a shower!! Go for a drive and get some Starbucks!! Do something that gives you a break. You really and truly need it.
Trust me, I understand that “mom guilt” you feel and the urgency to get back to your baby. However, I also know the feeling of coming back to that baby after getting a break. It’s like you’re a different person. A person who is just happier and ready for what you gotta do next! You will know what I mean when you take this advice. Trust me.
There’s also a difference between guilt and love. Feeling guilty for taking a break doesn’t mean you love your baby more. If anything coming back to your baby after feeling refreshed makes you a better and happier mom and your baby (AND HUSBAND!!!) can definitely sense and appreciate it.
Well there ya go… There’s a little unsolicited advice for you… You can take it or leave it.
Just enjoy this time!!! It is truly GOD GIVEN! Keep that mindset! You’re gonna do GREAT!
Bye Bye... Rut! 