If there is one thing that we can all agree on in a time when not a lot of people agree on much of anything… it is this… cancer sucks.

There are things in life none of us understand.  Car accidents. Miscarriage. Infertility. Sickness. Diseases. Cancer.   And when these things hit close to home it leaves us with gut wrenching mourning.

This weekend, it did hit close to home.  My family lost a first born son, step-son, brother, nephew, cousin, grandson to the one thing we all agree on its awfulness- cancer.   He was too young and had too much life ahead of him.  And none of us understand.

So in this time of confusion, mourning, and grief-I stand by the things I do understand. Here are a few.

Our Understanding Is Limited.

There are many instances in the Bible where God points out our limited understanding.  He knows and has patience with the fact that we can’t see what He sees and we don’t know what He knows.  Which is why He calls us to trust in Him and receive His peace.

“Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:7

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5

In the old testament Moses continually questioned God.  God would give him instruction and Moses would back talk… “But God.”   God was patient with him and led him step by step regardless of his limited understanding and his inability to see His plan.  He continually responded to Moses reminding Him WHO HE IS.  “I AM the Lord.” (Exodus 6:2) That is a hard concept to wrap our heads around when our vision is clouded by confusion and grief.  It is also a freeing one when you are able to grasp that God is OUR God and He sees everything through perfect clear sight- one that views eternity.  I feel like if God came right out and spoke to me as clearly as he spoke to Moses I would trust and believe easily.  This is proof of God’s patience and unfailing love towards us.  He promises to walk with us despite the little we see and our limited understanding.  He wants us to walk with Him and to trust Him to see us through for the glory of His name and for the saving of others. (Genesis 50:20)  As difficult as it will be, He wants to walk with us because He knows it is the only way we will get through victoriously.

Mourning is All Over the Bible

Since Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden death was made real.  God does not promise that there won’t be grief and sadness in this life on earth.  There is a time to mourn. (Ecclesiastes 3:2-4).  If you do a search for the word “mourn” in the Bible, countless scriptures come up.  However, while all these people of faith mourned and questioned God, they had one thing in common- they continued to cry out TO GOD.  Their belief of WHO He is didn’t waver even though it was so hard for them to understand- in it all they continually cried out TO God.  And we can know for sure he hears us when we cry out to Him and He promises to be close to us.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those whose spirits are crushed.”  Psalm 34:18

“From the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint.  Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” Psalm 61:2

“Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.”  Psalm 68:19

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3

“As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you;” Isaiah 66:13

“God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Matthew 5:4 ”

“For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.” 2 Corinthians 1:5

“Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word.” 2 Thessalonians 2:16,17

He doesn’t promise terrible things won’t happen but He promises to be there with you, to love you unconditionally, and to help you know He is with you and He has a plan even though your view is limited.  He sees everything in the light of eternity.

Death has no hold on us.  Jesus defeated death and with Him, He will help us see things in the light of his eternal purpose.

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4

That scripture gives me so much hope.  There is so much more we have promised to us, more to see, more to hope in.  We will see our loved ones again one day.

Cling to Those Around You

In the mean time, day to day, moment to moment, God has given us family, brothers and sisters in Christ to help us.

“Mourn with those who mourn.” (Romans 12:15)

God has called the church to help each other in times of need.  In Old Testament and New, God’s people mourned together.

“All Israel mourned for Aaron.” Numbers 20:29

“Bear one another’s burdens.” Galatians 6:2

You might feel alone and isolated, but others are mourning with you, praying for you, broken hearted with and for you, hoping for you.  Even if they don’t know how to express it.  You DO have people around you who love you and are there for you.

You Can Keep Going

God will give you the strength to continue to carry out what God has called you to in the midst of your mourning and grief.  Stay faithful to His cause.

“Devout men buried Stephen and made great lamentation over him…. Now those who were scattered went about preaching the word… So there was much joy in that city.”     Acts 8:1-8

Christians were grieving the death of their friend, their brother- Stephen- but they kept on going.  They continued the work Stephen was doing and they kept their focus on God’s work and eternity.  I can only imagine how hard that must have been, to be overwhelmed with grief but having to keep on.  This doesn’t mean drown yourself in work and try to forget about your loss.  (Wounds left festering will lead to even more hurt and pain.  Let God walk with you.)  My hope for you is that you would have a more focused perspective and meaning in what you do and how you do it.  You can love and care for others not in your own strength, but in God given, divine strength of God Almighty.

“The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is upon me, for the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor.  He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed.  He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the LORD’s favor has come, and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies.  To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair.  In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the LORD has planted for his own glory.  They will rebuild the ancient ruins, repairing cities destroyed long ago.  They will revive them, though they have been deserted for many generations.”  Isaiah 61:1-4

Faith is a Walk

There is no magic in God. He’s not a magician that will magically make your pain go away and make everything suddenly easy.  He is God. I AM.

His plan is for us to “walk by faith and not by sight”. (2 Corinthians 5:7)

His plan is for us to walk with him and he will help, comfort, and direct us each day, each step.

It is a walk and a process. And He is with you always.

“He will never leave or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6, Hebrews 13:5

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So today and always we will remember those we have lost here on earth. There will be sadness, grief, and mourning- but we never, ever walk alone. And we cling to the hope and the confidence that we will see them again.

With a heavy heart I write-

Jay Burger, you will be forever missed, forever loved, and never forgotten.