“But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior…” Isaiah 43:1-3

“Thus says the Lord, who makes a way in the sea, a path in the mighty waters… Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:16-19

As you may have guessed from the picture, we have exciting news in the Penate House, but I felt I needed to share more than just the “announcement” because in all things it is important that God be glorified and receive the credit for what He does behind the scenes of a beautiful picture.

Today I was reminded of the verse “Behold I am doing a new thing.” In the last 6 to 8 weeks I have been so carefully reminded that there is so much God does behind the scenes that we don’t see or recognize right away but that doesn’t change the fact that He is constantly working… working for our good and His glory. (Romans 8:28)

About the end of December Livi came running to me and gave me a picture she had “colored”, as usual I thanked her and told her how beautiful it was and set it down not really thinking. Then as I picked it up… let’s face it… about to throw it away… I noticed what it said. It was a torn out coloring page from her Olivia coloring book on one side it said “Oh, no! It’s starting to rain.” And on the other side it said, “Yay! The rain is all gone. Look at the beautiful rainbow!”

I stopped in my tracks, eyes glistened, and thought for a split second “is this sign?” I had no “feeling” that this would be the month and to be quite honest I didn’t feel ready for it to be. I brushed it off and folded it and put it away, just in case.

Several weeks passed and again God was proving to be at work behind the scenes and working on my fears and need for control. Before getting a positive pregnancy test, I took 3 tests, 2 different brands that were DEFECTIVE… are you kidding me? I literally wondered if God was just up there chuckling. Then the fourth pregnancy test came up negative. I was very confused and frustrated and I tried to brush it off. Obviously later I found out I was, in fact, pregnant.   I know now God wasn’t teasing me. He was calling me to trust Him, to trust him in what I couldn’t see and know that He sees all things and that is all that matters. (2 Corinthians 5:7)

The weeks that followed God continued to show His grace and hand in everything. For those that have experienced pregnancy after a miscarriage, you know how easy it is to be overcome by fear and guilt. I have struggled with experiencing the “excitement” that comes with being pregnant because of the fear. That also results in guilt for the baby I am carrying now. I was pregnant with one while supposed to be pregnant with the other. I don’t know how else to put it or describe it except that -that in itself is a struggle. After my 8 week appointment I scheduled my next appointment without even thinking. Later on I realized what day I had scheduled my appointment… Again, God working behind the scenes and strategically working out my days for my good and for His glory. My 11 week appointment came on the due date of the baby we lost. I listened to the sweet heartbeat and couldn’t help but think and remember the heartbeat we had lost. It was the definition of bittersweet. I got to see the baby kick and move and I came to the conclusion every appointment with this baby would result with tears of joy and thankfulness.

There is so much I can look back on in my life and see how God was at work – but I couldn’t see it in the moment. I’m so thankful that God is a God who “makes a path in the mighty waters”, who provides a “river in the desert”, who is always at work “doing a new thing”. He is so gracious to continue to be at work even when we don’t recognize it or completely trust Him in it.

I write this to encourage you.   I know I’m not the only one who struggles with fear of the unknown. Whether you are battling infertility, anxiety, brokenness in your home, out of a job, questions on what to do next or where to go… God is working in what you cannot see. He sees the big picture. He is ordaining your steps and calling you closer to Him in it all. I know how hard it is just to pray and trust God to work but that’s what we’re all called to do, to live a life of faith in what we can’t see knowing God is constantly at work for our good and for His Glory.

So, after saying all of this, I set aside my fears and announce…

Baby Girl Penate due September 7, 2017.

To God be the Glory!