“Lead me and guide me in the way I should go.  For to you, O Lord, I lift up my soul. May your gracious spirit lead me on firm footing” (Psalm 143:8-10)

I was reminded today of this prayer I always prayed while I was in college and while teaching.  It was easy then for me to be driven to pray while I felt “life”- as I wanted- hadn’t happened yet.  I was wanting a good, God-ordained job and a husband.  I needed God to ordain my steps, to lead me in big life choices and goals.  I needed His guidance and divine appointments for what He had in store for me.

Today, as I was praying this prayer came out and I was reminded how, now, I don’t say it as much as I used to… and I was reminded why.  I had a God ordained job-teaching… then I met the man God had for me… I, now, have a house… a car… a daughter… I don’t teach anymore- well, not for money at least…  I might be too comfortable in what my goals were instead of embracing the everyday leading and guiding God has for me in my routine life I had once prayed so hard for.  God convicted me in this after reading Joshua 9 last night.  God’s people were deceived because “they did not ask counsel from the Lord” (vs.14).  They thought a decision was a no brainer and responded out of their own instinct instead of seeking God in it.  This made me think of how often I just act out of my own comfort zone and routine instead of seeking God’s counsel in what might seem like common sense or mundane tasks.  I was convicted of my influence as a mom, a wife, a friend, and even a stranger.  How often do I miss an opportunity to love, guide, share encouraging, life giving words because my eyes aren’t open to see them and my heart is not prepared to share.  This seemed easier when I had “big” tasks in my job and “big” goals for my life.

I’m thankful the Holy Spirit brought this prayer back to me to remind me of the importance of “small beginnings”.

“Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin…” Zechariah 4:10

Raising a child is full of everyday “small beginnings” I often don’t see, but when I really think about it every moment adds up to a childhood, a teenager, an upbringing… and *BOM BOM BOM*... an ADULT! yikes! When I think of it that way that is HUGE.  I have everyday choices in how to react when I’m tired and she’s kind of driving me crazy… I have everyday opportunities to point her to Jesus.  How I raise her will affect how she acts when she’s in 1st Grade and is upset about not getting her way… because temper tantrums are not okay for her to do when she’s 6, and believe me I’ve had my fair share of dealing with them at that age… Taking toys out of someone else’s hand is not okay when you’re 6… because you might get knocked out from a child who didn’t learn the temper tantrum rule… Talking about farting at the table…(although funny)… won’t be cute when you’re a 20 year old going on your first date (because you can’t date until then… just kidding… maybe…).  I have a heavy responsibility in raising her not on my own instincts, but by “seeking counsel from God”.  I need his help and his guidance to not overreact and at the same time, not be passive.  I need his help to be intentional and take this “job” with the heavy weight that it carries all the while knowing I don’t have to carry it alone.  (Matthew 11:30).  So, I ask myself how do I do this? I mean people may not think so – but being a stay at home mom doesn’t have very many lulls (which is why it’s taken me so long to sit down and write again).  The answer to my own question is I have to be intentional about prayer.  While I’m scrubbing toilets, making dinner, listening to the “Moana song” for the 1,000 time in the car, walking to the kitchen in my frustration to grab a wooden spoon (yes, I give “pow pows”), running to squeeze in a bathroom break while she’s not looking (even though she always finds me)… I have opportunities to pray.  That is when I should seek his counsel, ask the Holy Spirit to lead me and guide me in the way I should go.

This not only is applicable to raising Olivia… and Baby Girl #2 when she comes.. but also when being around my family, friends, and most importantly … my husband.

Ernie is my best friend. He’s the person I am most comfortable with.  He completely spoils me and honestly when he’s home I’m the most chill because he leads our home so well.  He takes over on those days he knows I’m “done”.  He feeds me … that might sound silly but in the last 15 weeks that has NOT been an easy task!! (And yes, I cook… now… so don’t judge).  He literally does not stop serving.  God leading me and guiding me when it comes to him is probably the most convicting, if I’m being completely honest, because he makes me the most comfortable.  I desperately need to be more intentional in asking God to lead me and guide me in ways to serve, encourage, and love him.. because God gave me the amazing gift of being his help-mate and that is not something I should take lightly or get too comfortable with.  He bears the weight of spiritually, financially, and emotionally leading our family.  And let’s face it- God gave him 3 girls to lead… that’s a lot of extra finances & emotions.  Sooo, I need to be more intentional in seeking counsel in prayer throughout the day to encourage him and love him well, whether he’s at work or at home- because that is a huge responsibility God has given me that I shouldn’t take lightly no matter how “comfortable” I get.

And just like that- nap time is over! So, today, I hope as I share my own convictions- someone out there can relate and is encouraged to live intentionally and ask for God’s counsel in “everyday” life whether your season in life is really difficult or you’re currently in your comfort zone… I think we all find ourselves forgetting where our help comes from.

“My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth!” Psalm 121:2