Valentine’s Day

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“But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.) And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:25-28‬ ‭

I feel like I spent so much of my single years waiting and hoping and praying for the man of my dreams.

He came at just the right time. When I finally let go of my control – He showed up!

There were a lot of things I prayed for in a man and I can honestly say God heard beyond my simple prayers and answered me far beyond what I ever hoped or prayed for.  My prayers sounded much like the Al Green song, “Tired of Being Alone” with the chorus constantly on repeat.

God is so full of grace! Often times when Valentine’s Day would roll around I would feel sorry for myself and think, “Ugh! What a stupid day. Stupid couples! 🙄”.
… But now Valentine’s Day has really become one of my favorite “holidays”! To me this day is truly a celebration of the gift of love God has given me! He has gifted me far beyond anything I ever thought possible! Valentine’s Day leaves me sitting here marveling at how loving and gracious God is!

Did I pray for a man “who’s voice makes me melt like a Popsicle on the Fourth of July”? No. But God blessed me beyond my simple prayers.

Did I pray for a man who would sit with me, encourage me, and hold my hair every time I puked? No. But God blessed me beyond my simple prayers.

Did I pray for a man who would embrace my imperfections? No. But God blessed me beyond my simple prayers.

Did I pray for a man who would recognize my need for sleep and get up every morning with our early bird girl & bring me coffee in bed? No. But holy moly did God bless me beyond my simple prayers!

God made Eynar Ernesto to be my husband and me to be his wife – simple as that concept might seem it is awe inspiring and beautiful if you really think about it.

Now… Did I pray for a man who loves to cook… Not just loves to cook but is an absolutely amazing chef ? Nooo… Honestly that thought never even crossed my mind – I didn’t think it was possible.

Our Valentine’s Day tradition that my Eynar made up when we were dating is for him to make an elaborate meal (something he’s never made before) all from scratch for a remarkable Valentine’s Day dinner!

Here’s a look at this year…

1. Brie stuffed mushrooms

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2. Basil, goat cheese, & pancetta puff pastry bites

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3. Crab cakes with creamy siracha sauce

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4. Grilled Filet & Lobster with roasted spring vegetables

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5. Salted Caramel Pretzel Cheesecake (OH MY GOSHHH!)

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Did I pray for this deliciousness, amazingness, I don’t have to cook a thing-ness? No. But God blessed me far beyond my simple prayers.

And every Valentine’s Day I’m humbly reminded of that.

Moments

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As a woman… I’m sure men have it too… But the more I talk to other women I feel like we all have  “that moment”. The moment you can look back on and say that moment shaped me- made me who I am today. Whether it made you more courageous, more withdrawn, more insecure, or gave you more faith. I feel like most of us can pinpoint different moments in the course of our lives. Our different seasons in life bring on varying moments that are changing and shaping who we are but also affecting those around us.

Maybe it was that moment when you were five and broke your arm and your best friend went everywhere with you (even to the bathroom) to make sure you were okay. Maybe that’s what makes you want to be conscious of the welfare of your friends. You aspire to be just like her.

Maybe it was that moment in middle school when you were made fun of for having a big nose or not having enough clothes for the week and wearing the same ones over and over that were not in style. Maybe that’s why now you care so deeply about your appearance and what others think about you.

Maybe it was that moment your dad took time to sit in the car and just listen to you when he was supposed to be at work, but made you know that you were more important. Maybe that’s why you value the art of listening.

Maybe it was the moment you completely ate it in high school surrounded by your peers just staring at you that makes you appreciate someone who will first laugh hysterically with you, then pull you up still laughing hysterically and call you a klutz.

 

Maybe it was that moment you were told you would never be good enough that makes you second-guess every conversation you have and much of what you do.
Maybe it was that moment you almost burnt your parents’ house down cooking fried okra that makes you very aware of where the fire extinguisher is located in your home and why that moment proved to you- cooking is just not your thing.

 

Maybe it was that moment you met the most selfless, loving human on earth. Who shows you unconditional love and serves you as Christ serves the church that makes you want to give love, honor, and service back.

Maybe it was that moment that you realized you will never be good enough or even remotely close to perfect that makes you constantly rely on God’s grace and mercy knowing He created you, knows you, and loves you as you are. In that moment you know that’s enough. That is all you will ever need.
We’ve all had defining moments that shape us, and another person caused a lot of these moments.

Take a minute and think of what moments you have created for others.
In a moment of frustration with someone else think of the fact that they have had defining moments that make them who they are. Before you’re quick to judge take a step back and realize how we all have had moments that shape our character and thank God for His grace on all of us- that no matter the moments in the past He loves us all in an unfathomable way. His grace covers our insecurities, our fears, our feeling of the need to overcompensate or to be withdrawn. He has shaped our lives and our moments so we cannot only be who we are, but testify to others of His amazing grace and indescribable love.

Think about those that don’t know of His grace and go out and create wonderful, defining moments for others.

Trust Fall

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Some things in life don’t make sense… to you.

Life can be full of what-ifs. And that’s a dangerous game to play.

What if I was more active? (Maybe my jeans would button.) What if I didn’t eat that cookie? (Maybe I wouldn’t have looked so chunky in that picture.) What if I would’ve kept my job? What if I would’ve saved more money? What if I would’ve stayed in my hometown?   What if I spent more time of myself to look prettier? What if I was more talkative and fun? What if they don’t like me? Holy moly, you could go on and on, right?

Well, I’ll take a minute right there. Those “what ifs” can cause you to completely lose sight of who God created you to be. I’m going to be completely transparent here by telling you- since childhood I have been a “mom” and a “teacher”. That is my calling no doubt about it. Except, I do have doubts. I know in my heart of hearts God gave me a heart for children- to teach, to nurture, to discipline, to love. Yet, I continually doubt myself thinking … I should dress better… I should be more outgoing… I should be funnier… I should talk more to adults. This might sound silly, but these are real things I have struggled with since middle school. Bottom line, God didn’t create me to be loud and outgoing or to “fit in”. He made me to teach and take care. God gave me patience for children and I am in the process of developing patience for teenagers and adults… My point is, “what ifs” get in you in trouble and create insecurities that can be damaging.

If you take a second and think about all the “seasons” of life you have been through- whether you are 16 or 65- don’t ask any “what ifs” rather think about the purposes of those seasons. What did you learn? How did you grow? Rather than thinking of what could’ve happened or how you could’ve/should’ve been through them- why not think about the season you are in right now. Think about how God has carried you through so many seasons whether they were filled with insecurities, pain, joy, busyness, or whatever… to this moment… Which will be filled with even more moments and seasons to come to mold you into who He created you to be since day one.

God designed you and your life before you were even born. He mapped out the seasons of your life each strategically designed with purpose. When you sign up to walk with Him you make a trust fall. Scary as it might seem, walking with Him means trusting Him, relying on Him, despite your doubts.

Letting go and making that trust fall means letting God control your yesterdays, today, and tomorrows. Letting go and making that trust fall means being not just “okay”, but thankful for who God has called you to be. It means not asking “what if” but saying, “What now, Lord? Here I am – the person YOU created. I am willing and ready for what you’ve called me to right now.”

How many times in the Bible did people have to give up their control and make a trust fall? Countless.

  • Moses- Exodus 4:10-12
  • Ruth- Ruth 1:16
  • Joshua – Joshua 1:9
  • Esther – Esther 4:14
  • Mary – Luke 1:38
  • Simon Peter- Luke 5:11

I could go on and on… Just read the Bible.

We are no different. Life is full of one trust fall that when you take it and accept who God made you and the seasons of life He puts together for you, it is not only a life of peace and joy, but a masterpiece designed by The One who calls the stars by name.